Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
They have beer where we have blood.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
