better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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