strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
