id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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