This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
