So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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