Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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