I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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