Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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