so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize