Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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