Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
