he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
