If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
