You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
