I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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