you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize