Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize