Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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