C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
