sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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