My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
