and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize