i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
