now i know why i became what i already was.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
