singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Still dying that you shit outside
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
