My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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