I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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