At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
