I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
