I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
