pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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