I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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