Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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