yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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