I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
