...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
