i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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