I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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