You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
