cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
