your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yo dont text me then not text me
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
