margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
