i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
