you guys were way drunker than both of me
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
