am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
