yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I've blown a few things in my day
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
