I need help removing her.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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