Taylor Swift is so right about you.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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