Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
