Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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