Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
