I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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