my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We are all done wearing pants today
How drunk are you?
Completed.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
