You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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