How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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