Sry I called you an 8
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
