i barfeds in our rink
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
