brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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