Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
