he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
