i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize