yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
