This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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