yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
