Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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